This is place for mad people as it says above. Write here your metamorphoses, new beginings, or what ever you experienced, but was affraid that you will be sent to mental hospital. Go ahead, be open-minded!

clever,a great idea,this is in the true spirit of
the novel. as an entry point i bring forth the word
foetid from the poem ' the immortals ' - had a
difficult time finding it in the dictionaries at first -
probably a south wind across the sewage lagoon is
an accurate descriptor if located north of it. anyway
this is obviously ' the club ' where we can meet 'and
see what happens' as did halle in the novel. my readings
of hesse began about 20 years ago - and, hesse introduced
me to the world of german literature. i am looking forward
to meeting other ' mad ones ' - here in the club.

Was Harry Haller clinically depressed? It doesn't matter, but I know that I am. Even with the medication, I feel I am searching for the door in the wall, the entrance to the theatre. On the surface, Harry's redemption was through clubs, drugs and girls! Would my depression really go if I immersed myself in these things?! Harry had Hermann too, somone who truly understood him. She encouraged Harry to embrace the moment - through hedonistic pleasures.

Each morning I wake up and search for reasons to get up. I still get up even when I cannot remember any.

Help me - how can I step through this door? Where can I find my magic theatre? How can I change from a spectator of life, half-remembering the silver thread, to a true liver of life, laughing like the immortals?

It's not a free theater! You have to insert a coin!

Do you have one I can borrow?
--Duke

hello decimus. i was away for some time and i am very pleased to see someone replyed to invitation in my club.
let's focus on your problem. first don't ever think about comiting a suicide, because it is very rough exit and we with "mark" prefer nicer ones.
i don't guarantee u that my advices will help you, every person is unique. i think that depresion is a good thing, my moto is: good is good, worse is better. so it depends on you. don't lose your hope. if you do, i will be there to find it for you.

Hello Decimus,
I wholly agree with Jastvo. It may be very hard at the beginning and throughout the whole, but it is worth every pain. I have never been to the doctor, but I do show signs of chronic depression as well. I thought that I was living hell in everyday life. Demian changed my life forever, as I read, I found out that someone else felt exactly the same as I did. There are tons of us who are "marked" out there. Tons. I never knew just how many. And after reading the book, I found my Demian, a friend that I'd had for a while, but we hadn't been that close. He allowed me to break my world slowly, helping me when it became too difficult. And best of all, he liked me for who I really am. I know that sounds a bit corny, but that is what struck me the most, he took the bad with the good. And here's why: Us who have the mark have to stick together because we are a very special breed. Intellectuals are always unhappy, its in our natures. This doesn't mean constantly, but more so than most who are ordinary. That is the price we pay for knowledge, for being able to see how the world really is. And I would never trade it to be happy all of the time. Thats what you have to keep in mind whenever you are having a hard time. Remember this fact: You have the mark, you are special, and all of us who have the mark are one. Your suffering is mine, and mine is yours and that way we never go through anything alone. Past Hesse, I reccommend Nietzsche, he was one of us. He wont necessarily cheer you up, but it is always good to know that someone else thinks like you do. I hope that this has helped, I truly do.
Europa

Hello everybody! i must feel this place with my confesion. it's hard, very hard...carrying this "load". depression, it's ok. but this is too long. life in herd of sheeps makes me more fragile. i am trying too keep my eyes open for "important things". no one knows of my sufferings around me. but come to thonk about it, it's just the phase to something great, worth suffering. how long?

Hello Europa

You and Jastvo have helped me. And I will certainly be reading Demian.

It is, as you say, very important to have peole who like us for who we really are.

I guess one of the things that attracts me to Steppenwoolf is the idea of the magic door, that there is an instant answer to problems.

And so often that is not the case. It can be a slow gradual change working through one thing then another, one issue then another.

I realise that feeling all my feelings is also important, including all those I don't want to feel. Recently I have been finding new feelings I didn't want to feel - perhaps ignoring them was helping me to be depressed.

Its been great to find your replies on the page, wherever you are in the world. I feel very priviliged to be able to communicate with you all about this across unknown distances.

Yours
Decimus

Thanks!
Allways there for "you"!

what's with all the nimwits who are looking for a way "out" when it's only ever been a way "in"! am i the only one who get's hermann hesse's cynical, optimistic, brilliance?!!! for me,where i'm at in my life, THIS IS the magic theatre. but of course, even after hesse prewarned us all that not everyone 'get's' the book - but he hopes we do! well, i'm glad that i do and it seems as if you do too!